Used Condoms

by Bill Haney October 18, 2018

What to do with used condoms so they won't come back to haunt you or someone else!

Everyone has seen one at one time or another, a used condom. It's not the prettiest site that's for sure. And why is it that used condoms always seem to show up at the worst time or in the worst possible places?

One day at the grocery store I was trying to be a nice guy and walk the elderly lady to her car. She had more groceries than she could handle and she could barely walk. So I'm standing there smiling while she's thanking me for my help and low and behold I see it! The damn used condom laying about a foot from her car on the drivers side. I know that if she gets in her car she's gonna see it too but just the thought of her asking me........ eeewwww! And then there's the time I was with my little cousin at the ball field. He walks up to me with this confused look on his little face and asks me "What's this?" Of course I have to say quickly "It's a dirty balloon, put it down!"

There is no reason anyone should be subjected to used condoms, it's just wrong! With millions being sold each year in the US alone, there has to be better condom etiquette among you condom users out there, really! Why do you think the next guy should pick up your dirty used condom? If you have the time to put it on and take it off, you have the time to be responsible and throw it away "PROPERLY"!

So, this brings me to this article, what do you do with all the used condoms? First of all here is a list of "Don'ts"

What NOT to do with a used condom

1. Don't throw used condoms in the toilet, really. It says it on all the condom boxes and instructions if you take the time to read. Condoms can get snagged on debris in plumbing pipes and actually back up your plumbing. Then the plumbers have to come out and roto-root your pipes with a plumbing snake and it will be pretty embarrassing when they pull out all of your condoms from the last three years!!

2. Don't throw used condoms on the ground! If you had kids would you want them picking them up? Would you want your grandmother to have to see a used condom laying next to her car?

3. Don't throw used condoms down the garbage sink disposal. Even if you're using the kitchen table for your own kinky fun, it's still a bad idea to plug up the plumbing.

4. Don't throw used condoms in the water at the beach or in the lake at the park. Used condoms float and they always wash up on shore, usually when someone is getting married on the beach!

5. Don't throw used condoms in the recycling bins. I mean really! Are there that many stupid people out there? When I heard this one.......?

The correct way to dispose of a used condom.

1. Say excuse me honey while I do the responsible thing and throw this away. Or I need just a second to get rid of this the right way. Then you wrap the used condom in a tissue or piece of paper and throw it in the trash. Guys, did you happen to hear the part about wrapping it up in tissue or paper? We need to do this!! A used condom is just that, it's used, it's old, it's done. Wrap it up and throw it away.

2. Got babies at home, throw your used condom in the Diaper Genie! I know people with kids know what a diaper genie is. It's that thing you throw old diapers in so they don't smell up the house. If you have a diaper genie, use it for your used condoms too!

3. If you're in your car, and it's time to throw out the used condom, don't throw it outside! Put it in the ashtray till you get home or until you find a trashcan. Be Responsible!

4. If your on a boat, don't throw used condoms overboard! Put it in an empty coke can or beer can until you find a trash can.

OK this is really just silly. If you are old enough to have safe sex, you are old enough to know that used condoms don't belong in public places, on the ground, hanging in trees or anywhere else but in the trash! Be responsible with your used condoms.

I Know you're not dumb, after all you were smart enough to use condom protection so I know you're smart enough to throw them away properly.

Be responsible.
Condom use shows responsibility
so do the right thing and throw em away!

Used condoms are for the trash!

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