Apart from abstinence, using condoms is
the best way to reduce the possibility of transmission of a sexually transmitted disease
including HIV infection.
It's sometimes difficult
to think on the spot about how you can respond to resistant, defensive, or manipulative
comments made by a partner to try to get you not to use
condoms sense.
So here are some ideas you
can think about beforehand:
| If
your partner says: |
You
can say: |
| I'm
on the pill, we don't need a condom. |
I'd
like to use it anyway. We'll both be protected from infections we may not realize we have. |
| I
know I'm clean; I haven't had sex with anyone in X months. |
Thanks
for telling me. I'm disease-free too. But I'd still like to use a condom since either of
us could have an infection and not know it. |
| I'm
a virgin. |
I'm
not. This way we'll both be protected. |
| I
can't feel a thing when I use a condom. It's like wearing a raincoat in a shower. |
Even
if you lose some sensation, you'll have plenty left. |
| I'll
lose my erection by the time I stop and put it on. |
I'll
help you put it on. That'll help you keep it. |
| By
the time I put it on, I'm out of the mood. |
Maybe
so, but we feel strongly enough for each other to stay in the mood. |
| It
destroys the romantic atmosphere. |
It
doesn't have to be that way. |
| Condoms
are unnatural and fake - a total turnoff. |
Please
let's try to work this out - an infection isn't so great either. So let's give the condom
a try. Or maybe we can look for alternatives to intercourse. |
| What
kinds of alternatives? |
Maybe
we could just pet, and postpone sex for a while. We could try manual stimulation too. |
| This
is an insult! Do you think I'm some kind of disease-ridden slut/gigolo? |
I
didn't say or imply that; but in my opinion, it's best to use a condom. |
| None
of my other boyfriends uses a condom. A real man isn't afraid. |
Please
don't compare me to them.. A real man cares about the woman he dates, himself, and their
relationship. |
| I
love you. Would I give you an infection? |
Not
intentionally. But many people don't know they're infected. That is why it is best for
both of us right now. |
| Come
on, just this once without? |
Once
is all it takes. |
| I
don't have a condom with me. |
I
do. or Then let's satisfy each other without intercourse. |
| You
carry a condom around with you? You were just trying to seduce me. |
I
always carry one with me because I care about myself and my partner. I have one with me
because I care about us. |
| I
won't have sex with you if you're going to insist on using a condom. |
So
let's put it off until we can agree. I won't have sex without one. |
| I
won't feel as much if I have a condom on. |
You
won't feel anything if you don't. |
| I
don't have any condoms and we don't want to stop this excitement. |
I
have condoms - which kind do you like? |
| It
will interrupt sex. |
Let
me put it on for you. It can be part of foreplay, and we can make it fun. |
Knowledge
is power:
Remember and practice
ways of talking about condom use. Use condom sense!
Men: Remember
that you're also protecting yourself against diseases that may be inside the vagina and
have no visible signs.
Women: Remember
that sexually transmitted diseases do not always have visible signs.
Embarrassment: Often
may occur before, during, or after sex. Learn to talk, laugh, and exchange ideas and
feelings with your partner. Communication is the key.
Professional Help:
You can talk about your concerns about condoms or sexual activity or communication
problems at the University Health Service, the Counseling Center, Hospital Clinics, and
private medical services. Confidentiality and privacy are always maintained at these
services.
Resources: Your
school or local library will have current books and journals. Information about condoms
can usually be found under headings like 'contraceptives' or 'sexually transmitted
diseases.
But I'm on the pill.
Why do we need condoms?: Sexually transmitted diseases may not have any symptoms in
the male or female. They are easily transmitted during sexual intercourse and are very
prevalent in the 18-30 year old population. The pill is used to prevent pregnancy - it
does not protect against transmission of a disease.
Use of condoms: Always
store them in a cool, dry place. Always check the expiration date. Use latex condoms.
Always use them properly - info is available at Health Services and Counseling.
You and
your partner are worth the effort.
Care enough to use a condom.
|
